Expire

from Latin exspirare ‘breathe out’.

All my experience with photography has been digital. I bought film cameras several times for experiments but always sold them back after few months. And I never got into darkroom printing, used labs to develop and scan.

In 2017 I stumbled upon a darkroom set for sale and decided to experience the complete process. It costed almost nothing and contained everything you might need. There was even film in bulk rolls. But then it had to wait for two more years in my storage room until it was the right time. Finally, I picked up a bulk roll can marked Ilford FP4 which I knew nothing about. Wikipedia says it was discontinued in 1990. I didn’t even know whether it had film inside or not. Few empty cartridges were there as well. I barricaded in my bathroom and opened a can. The can contained film but I couldn’t tell how much of the original 17 meters. And I was not sure was it FP4 and how expired it was. Without any precision, spreading my arms to measure the length, I loaded my first cartridge.

It resulted in 30 something frames. I’m not a quick shooter, even for testing purposes it took me several weeks to finish the roll. During all that time I was not sure what I’m shooting on. The untested camera gave me doubts too. Then it came to development which neither I have much experience nor it was clear how to develop that expired film. But in the end, I got images. It was FP4 indeed, ISO was somewhat right, the camera worked, Rodinal did its job. I started slowly shooting that bulk roll, snapshotting the time. When it finally ended, everything just started: the pandemic, isolation, expiration.